COURAGE

Courage! The definitions are:

• the ability to do something that frightens one.
• strength in the face of pain or grief. 
• courage referred to “what is in one's mind or thoughts." Today, anyone with courage has only fearless feats and courageous acts in mind. Having courage means acting when others are afraid of the danger, or simply acting without fear of failure.

Courage doesn’t always roar.  Sometimes courage is the quiet voice and the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow.” – Mary Ann Radmacher

Relationships are work. (period) Whether they are with family, friends or your boyfriend/spouse.  Facing the growing pains of those relationships and understanding them takes a whole lot of courage to either stay in the relationship or know when its time to walk away from the relationship.  Courage to stay and endure and Courage to walk away are two different types of Courage.

The Courage to stay when you’re feeling like the other person, has truly stepped over countless boundaries and yet deep inside you know, that there is a deep underlying (core reason) you need to stay.  You must ask yourself these questions if you choose to stay…

·         Are the boundary lines I set unclear?

          o   This would need to be clearly restated without reservation and definite sincerity.

·                                             Have I allowed this person to cross them and not say anything?

                        o   Acknowledging what it means to you, when the boundaries are crossed.

·                                             Is who I am not clear to the other person?

                        o   Confidently sharing your stance on how you’d like to be treated is essential.  

·                                             Do they see me as I was & not who I’m growing in to?

                        o   Sternly sharing what you no longer will tolerate and what helps you to remain focused.

The Courage to walk away, is a true heart of the matter.  When you no longer cry, when you no longer hurt and when you no longer get angry, is a sign of Courage to be able to say “No More” will I allow my heart to be mistreated.

Signs that you know it’s time to take Courage and walk away…

• When empathy (heartbreaking) changes to Sympathy (feel sorry). 
• Your focus is on getting you better for yourself, and not for the other person. 
• You recognize the entire relationship you’ve received little to no reciprocity.
• Respect and admiration are no longer present from one or both sides. 
• Conversations are meaningless and cannot go further than where you’ve come from.

PERSONAL TESTAMENT:

I have had to take Courage to stay in relationships with family and the Courage to walk away from many.  Personal family (without naming who), I’ve had to reassess my life from where I’d come from, to where I was going, AND ALSO to where I wanted to be.  Certain family members would constantly remind me of who ‘I WAS’ and not who I am BECOMING.  When I realized that our conversations were always about the same things, I had to make the choice and take Courage to stay and set the boundaries and CLEARLY state where my focus is at the present time.  Mind you it took some repeating, until the conversations remained only about the current affairs and still do until this day, because we grew apart and had not truly known anything about our day to day.  The relationship remains as just family and that’s ok; love from a distance. 

The Courage to walk away, BOY NOW THIS IS DIFFICULT ESPECIALLY with your own family.  I decided that just because you’re blood, doesn’t give you the right to treat me any different than I treat myself. Point Blank – I’m No Longer Tolerating Your Cynicism (skepticism, distrust, sarcasm).  

As for a relationship with an ex?  Well, that TOOK A WHOLE LOT OF COURAGE especially when I was abused both physically and verbally.  It took awhile for me to get there because I allowed what these men said about me, get to me and I believed their perception of me, because I acted on their every word.  I tell you if this isn’t a true testament to WORDS HAVE POWER this really was a breaking of a spell I was under.   The Courage to walk away was not only from their abuse, but for my healing.  I needed to reaffirm myself by taking the stance on what I believed about myself and no longer look at myself through the eyes of others.  I always felt that I had to define myself by what others thought of me, and that takes a whole lot of courage too. 

Fear is a Reaction, Courage is a Decision!

It takes Courage to give the relationship to God and not try to fix it on your own!

Without Courage, we cannot practice any other virtue with consistency! We can’t be kind, true, merciful, generous, or honest! – Maya Angelou