Courage! The definitions are:
- the ability to do something that frightens one.
- strength in the face of pain or grief.
- courage referred to “what is in one's mind or thoughts." Today, anyone with courage has only fearless feats and courageous acts in mind. Having courage means acting when others are afraid of the danger, or simply acting without fear of failure.
Courage doesn’t always roar.
Sometimes courage is the quiet voice and the end of the day saying, “I
will try again tomorrow.” – Mary Ann Radmacher
Relationships are work. (period) Whether they are with
family, friends or your boyfriend/spouse.
Facing the growing pains of those relationships and understanding them
takes a whole lot of courage to either stay in the relationship or know when
its time to walk away from the relationship.
Courage to stay and endure and Courage to walk away are two different
types of Courage.
The Courage to stay when you’re feeling like
the other person, has truly stepped over countless boundaries and yet deep
inside you know, that there is a deep underlying (core reason) you need to
stay. You must ask yourself these
questions if you choose to stay…
·
Are the boundary lines I set unclear?
o
This would need to be clearly restated without
reservation and definite sincerity.
· Have I allowed this person to cross them and not
say anything?
o
Acknowledging what it means to you, when the
boundaries are crossed.
· Is who I am not clear to the other person?
o
Confidently sharing your stance on how you’d
like to be treated is essential.
· Do they see me as I was & not who I’m
growing in to?
o
Sternly sharing what you no longer will tolerate
and what helps you to remain focused.
The Courage to walk away, is a true heart of
the matter. When you no longer cry, when
you no longer hurt and when you no longer get angry, is a sign of Courage to be
able to say “No More” will I allow my heart to be mistreated.
Signs that you know it’s time to take Courage and walk away…
- When empathy (heartbreaking) changes to Sympathy (feel sorry).
- Your focus is on getting you better for yourself, and not for the other person.
- You recognize the entire relationship you’ve received little to no reciprocity.
- Respect and admiration are no longer present from one or both sides.
- Conversations are meaningless and cannot go further than where you’ve come from.
PERSONAL TESTAMENT:
I have had to take Courage to stay in relationships with
family and the Courage to walk away from many.
Personal family (without naming who), I’ve had to reassess my life from
where I’d come from, to where I was going, AND ALSO to where I wanted to
be. Certain family members would
constantly remind me of who ‘I WAS’ and not who I am BECOMING. When I realized that our conversations were
always about the same things, I had to make the choice and take Courage to stay
and set the boundaries and CLEARLY state where my focus is at the present
time. Mind you it took some repeating,
until the conversations remained only about the current affairs and still do
until this day, because we grew apart and had not truly known anything about
our day to day. The relationship remains
as just family and that’s ok; love from a distance.
The Courage to walk away, BOY NOW THIS IS DIFFICULT
ESPECIALLY with your own family. I
decided that just because you’re blood, doesn’t give you the right to treat me
any different than I treat myself. Point Blank – I’m No Longer Tolerating Your
Cynicism (skepticism, distrust, sarcasm).
As for a relationship with an ex? Well, that TOOK A WHOLE LOT OF COURAGE
especially when I was abused both physically and verbally. It took awhile for me to get there because I
allowed what these men said about me, get to me and I believed their perception
of me, because I acted on their every word.
I tell you if this isn’t a true testament to WORDS HAVE POWER this
really was a breaking of a spell I was under.
The Courage to walk away was not only from their abuse, but for my
healing. I needed to reaffirm myself by
taking the stance on what I believed about myself and no longer look at myself
through the eyes of others. I always
felt that I had to define myself by what others thought of me, and that takes a
whole lot of courage too.
Fear is a Reaction, Courage is a Decision!
It takes Courage to give the relationship to God and not try
to fix it on your own!
Without Courage, we cannot practice any other virtue with
consistency! We can’t be kind, true, merciful, generous, or honest! – Maya
Angelou
